A day in the life of…

Here I am again, (we are really quiet at work hence why I have time to record all my rantings and ravings lol) So to bring you up to speed in one sentence: my brother is in an unconfirmed incestual relationship with our aunty

ok, so I have had this inkling for quite some time now, trying ever so hard to NOT bring it to my parents attention because then it will all be my fault because my brother does not know how to accept the consequences of his actions, so I bite my tongue and dont breathe a word.  I know that may sound morally wrong to some of you but this is the relationship that I try to maintain with my brother, try to keep the trust.

fuck that – all that went out the fucking window the night that he decided he would bring his STUPID mate to my house and invite his stupid slut face over as well – only for her to drink my alcohol before she fucked off to an all expenses paid pary, to then return off her face and decide that this is the most appropriate time to come clean. Once before in my life I have let my feelings get the better of me when I am drinking and I was very close to letting it happen again when she did this. I literally almost strangled the bitch. I cannot believe how a person who:
a) was a part of our family for 9 years as a respected aunty, sister in law etc…
b) once saw the person she now calls her “partner” as her nephew (once upon a time) 
c) had him living with her, under her roof with the father of her child since he was a minor (fyi the 10 yo girl calls my uncle her dad but in actual fact he is not. her mother has no idea who her father is)
d) expects our family to “grow to accept” it
e) doesn’t see there is anything wrong with what she is doing

can justify doing something like this. It really escapes me.

Not only are all the above true, why can she not see that what she has done will ruin his life before its hardly begun? This is going to scar him for life…

I think back through all the shit that happened with their living situation and now see that she was the sole instigator in this. I believe that to begin with the room sharing was 100% platonic, but as time went on and she got lonlier etc… she began to seperate him from the girls that would come for congugal visits to make him as lonley as she was. No 17 yo in their right mind (apart from one that is horny) would go there with someone that looks like her, let me paint a picture: she is about 5 ft nothing, weighs well over 120kgs horrible blotchy skin with stretch marks from here to nam, smells because she doesnt shower, lives like a PIG and has two kids…. especially no 17yo that is 6ft2, athletic build and in the past has had beautiful girls his own age.. Have I been in a timewarp? Did the world somehow change since I was 17? because I know when I was 17 there was no way I would even consider touching anyone who is older than 22!!!!!!?????

To add to the rantings: She is our aunty. Not under the eyes of the law of course, in this stupid country it is completely legal to marry your blood relative first cousin! (wtf?) I have looked into it. The only thing I can say 100% for certain is that this relationship is culturally, morally, ethically and socially taboo. it is wrong. If cyfps did get a call from someone I am SURE that they would be extremely interested to know that she has shacked up with a kid half her age and is the biological 1st cousin of her youngest child!!!!!!

but once again, I will bite my tongue. I am a strong believer in karma. What goes around comes around LP, you know who you are.

Good Morning! Christmas and New Years is finally over and done with! Wahoo!
now that shit is sorted i can get back to my story – which has grown immensly since my last visit btw!!

so just to refresh the picture in your minds: family living together seemingly normal, dad up and leaves, brother up and leaves, get kicked out of house, drop out of uni, end up living with mother…

So lets change scenery for a while so you can get background info on the newly emerged plotline: Brother moves from our house to (aunty 1) & uncles house because he wants to be able to do what ever he wants with no consequences…. got it?

rewind to new years 2009/2010: dads sister (aunty 2) moves in to aunty1 & uncles house, in an emergency bid to escape from the shit she has gotten herself into (with gangs) in another town, but mainly to protect her kids from it. so now their happy little 3 bedroom house is not big enough for 9 people – uncle & aunty1 + 10yo kid & baby, plus my 17yo brother, with the addition of aunty2 and her 11yo boy, 9 & 5 yo girls plus the cats & dogs etc etc you get the picture… so when the 6 bedroom house next door becomes available they snap that up quick smart and all decide that they can cope living together…

fast forward a few months and my uncle (who is another drop kick family member who couldnt hold down a job to save his own life if he tried) FINALLY gets himself a decent job (good on him I say!) but then lets the money go to his head and decides that he doesnt love his partner anymore (aunty1) and ups and leaves her to pay their half of the rent on this big arsed house on her own – as well as supporting his two kids! So naturally everyone is all broken arsed for aunty1 and trying to help out etc etc….

fast forward another few months: so now we have aunty1 – solo mother claiming every benefit under the sun while her mother & everyone else looks after her kids etc… and aunty2 – doing EXACTLY the same thing, only her kids have a responsible father who pays suport like every good dad should… – and my brother living together in this big 6 bedroom house. Next thing everyone concerned knows, aunty1 has invited her newly homeless cousin and his mates to come and live in the house. fyi: homless cousin and friend have been kicked out of home because of their relentless partylike behaviour and drug taking issues have disrupted their perception of what is NORMAL behaviour and have resulted in both losing their jobs, completely totalling an expensicve jeep they were allowed to drive and generally just being druggie teenagers (both are 19-20 yo) So now we have 10 people living in a 6 bedroom house, this is how aunty1 & aunty2 sort out the rooming problem: bedroom1: brother + 10 yo boy cousin, bedroom 2: 9 yo + 5 yo girl cousins, bedroom 3: aunty2, bedroom 4: 10yo girl cousin, bedroom 5: aunty2, bedroom 6: baby cousin, upstairs lounge room: homeless cousin & friend…. This continues until the kids start fighting and the homeless cousin & friend start their druggie partying ways again and keep having slutty girls and mates stay around etc… so auntys1 & 2 decide its time to reshuffle the sleeping situation, for the kids benefit of course…. bedroom 1: 11yo boy cousin, bedroom 2: homeless cousins friend (with his new mattress), bedroom 3: aunty 2 + her 3 kids, bedroom 4: 10 yo girl cousin, bedroom 5: aunty 1 + my brother, bedroom 6: baby cousin, upstairs lounge room: homeless cousin. Looking back now, it really was all in aid of helping the homeless cousin really because nobody who ACTUALLY PAYS RENT TO LIVE IN THE HOUSE had suitable living conditions after this happened. the house is ALWAYS a complete and utter pigsty, no exaggeration, im talking about not being able to see the bench because the dishes are piled up that high, having to make a path with your feet to get through the washing that permantenly sits on the floor of the wash house, having to see nits in the childrens hair when you are standing close to them, seeing beds without sheets on them that have stains that came from who knows where, not having things like soap to wash your hands with, clean towels to dry them on (if you did actually attempt to wash your hands with nothing but water) or clean ANYTHING for that matter!! It really irks me having to sit there and watch those kids live in those conditions but its the old catch 22 scenario: should I stay loyal to my family and keep them together? or go to cyfps and tell them what is going on and watch them all get split up for the sake of having clean clothes & full bellies? hmmm, its a tough one guys I tell you!

Anyway, I asked Aunty1 not long after this happened why she and my brother HAD to share a room, she replied with ”oh its because there is no room, we have no choice” (remember why he went to live there in the first place. When he did first start going up there he was only 15 or so, they tried to make us pay them money to have him there to help out with food etc… we of course refused. Why the fuck should we have to pay money for my brother to live somewhere else when there is not a single good reason why he cant live with us other than the fact that he doesnt want to live by our rules? its not that we are hard out god bangers or have hard out OTT house rules, its just simple things like picking up after yourself, washing the dishes at night, doing your own washing that he cannot get a grip on and thinks its the end of the world having to do shit like that!) She gave me a look that said why dont you give us one of your beds ( I had 3 of my own at the time) I did offer them a bed but on the condition that they came and picked it up themselves (why should I go out of my way & spend money hiring a trailer, on the gas etc… to do SOMEONE else a fucking favour?) fucking money hungry bitch.

fast forward another few months: aunty2 sends me a really random text saying something along the lines of ”i need your help but only want it if its in a non judgemental way, i have fucked up and need help really urgently, please call me when you get this” now aunty2 is not the loving happy fairy sort of aunty – ive actually hated her all my life because she would always pinch me to make me cry or say nasty things to me when my parents were out of the room when i was little – so naturally I never bothered to text her back – just thought she was being an idiot… A couple of days later my brother tells us that she upped and left! no notice in courtesy of paying her half of the rent, no notice to the kids schools, no nothing. just left. plain and simple. she rang up the kids father to come and get the 11 yo boy, and her adult daughter to come and get the two girls. left all her worldly possessions in the house, left her animals, everything. just vanished! So as it turns out even If I had of reported them all to cyfps for the kids’ sake, they were going to get split up at the hands of their own mother anyway!!

So now that two rooms in the house are empty they begin to reshuffle all the rooms once again, bedroom 1: homeless cousin (with his newly acquired bed), bedroom 2: homeless cousins friend, bedroom 3: guest/visiting whores & drug room, bedroom 4: 9 yo girl cousin, bedroom 5: my brother and aunty1, bedroom 6: baby cousin. This time when I asked aunty1 why she and my 17yo brother were continuing to share a room she comes out with ”oh there are no spare rooms” – not only is there ACTUALLY a spare room, she knows there is a bed available at my house she just has to get up off her fat arse and stop expecting everyone to run around after her and come and get it herself also ignoring the fact that when aunty2 left she left behind 4 beds!! grrrrhhhh

some time after all this drama happens they come to the conclusion that they can no longer afford to live in this massive house on their own (4 adults + 2 kids; 1 adult on the dole & 3 adults with no income whatsoever) and decide that its time to move on. they begin looking for a house, they tell us they are moving because it is too expensive for them to stay there, none of them have cars so they are depending entirely on other people to get the move done for them. Not only do they end up moving waaaaaay the fuck away (in other words further away than they lived before so that even less of their friends will bother coming to see them unless they absolutely have to) they end up getting a house that is $200 MORE EXPENSIVE THAN THE ONE THEY HAD JUST LEFT BECAUSE OF FINANCIAL ISSUES!!!!!! what words can explain how completely idiotic that theory is?!!?!?!?!!?!?!? they said its fine because they have flatmates in line and the homeless cousin & friend are both on the dole also now, a housefull of pathetic fucking dole bludging losers. This new house is very nice, 5 bedrooms in the main house, another cottage type building attached that has its own everything, two car garage, pool, extensive grounds and paddocks with stock even!
When they move in my brother and aunty1 are STILL sharing a room – I ask the question for the third time ”why are you STILL sharing a room?” and once again I am lied to. ”because there are no spare rooms and we haven’t got a bed for him” for fucks sakes! how stupid do they think I am?
I am the only one out of my whole family that has bothered to go and visit and keep in touch and they think it appropriate to lie to me?
three times? to my face?
my only brother who I have gone through thick and thin? survived everything the world has had to throw at us? protected him from all the shit our parents put us through? practically brought him up?
no siree, i will NOT tolreate that sort of shit in my life…

But, I bide my time.. Knowing full well the truth will come out to bite them on their incestual arses good and well.

shit i think the last “post” i did didnt end up being an actual post, so anyone who is actualy reading this is going to be like wtf? im going to try and post it in here… hold on, ill be back asap

Forgot to mention: When we got told that we had three weeks to find a house and move out, my mum took on the attitude of “oh well, no big deal” – seriously.. my mum is only 47 so its  not like she is incapable of sorting her own shit out. so i yell and scream at her saying “this is no joke, do you not realise that you will be homeless in 3 weeks?” so she goes to my dads house – where he lives with his drop kick jobless hobo alcoholic friends – and tells him what is going on and his response to that was “Well, you CAN’T come live here because you dont even like my friends” a.k.a I don’t want you to live with me because I secretly hate you, so she ends up with having no where she can go – fyi: she couldn’t just go to the bank for a quick little loan becaus she is a hopeless pokie machine addict (which is why the now ex-family home became my aunties house) who cannot even see a $2 coin sitting around without sneaking off to the pub to waste it in the machines in the idiotic hope it will magically make her life better – then she starts trying to jump on my bandwagon, I tell her rudely & bluntly “I do not want you living with me because you cannot control your addiction so I can’t rely on you to pay your part of the rent every week” – which btw is 100% true and she knows it because I have seen her do it before, twice. “… and It should be YOUR responsibility as a parent to look after your kids when they need it not the other way around…”
So after that whenver I ask her “have you started to sort your shit out? Because you’re not coming to live with me” she starts with this outrageously in denial attitude of “i’ll just go live on (family friends” couch until I find something” – fyi: the first time she fucked the family home up my father & brother moved to rotorua with the foolish idea that buying a house with a 100% mortgage will work on the wages that people in rotorua get paid on (mum was supposed to follow once she had fufilled her contract at work) and she stayed at my brothers friends mums house in the spare room “until she found something”.
in the 6 months she lived there she did not ONCE look for an alternative and she did not tell anyone she secretly renewed her contract and did not ONCE attempt to look for another job in rotorua – so they booted her out & thats how she ended up at her cousins house for the second time in her life, also resulting the loss of the newly 100% mortgage fmily home because of her failure to follow the plan of attack…
… My blood boils with emotions ranging from anger to suprise, disbelief to shock, but mainly just pure embarrassment – remember this is the family friends that once posed the question to me “Oh, has your Mum caught up on the rent yet?” I replied “hmm?? Dont know what youre talking about?” they go on to tell me about how my mum gave them a big sob story on how behind she was because of her husbands drinking etc… (excuses galore) and asked if she could BORROW $400 to pay the rent. I call the landlord to find out whats going on and he tells me that the rent was never behind – embarrassment at the fact that she is completely oblivious to the fact that they can see straight through her facade of “the vicitm”, shame
So I go on another yelling spree telling her how ridiculous she is being and that once again, she is not coming to live with me because all her dramatic shit will then become my problem! argh!
the next day I get a call from the land lord saying the house is mine if I want it – so with mum having no where she could possibly go I had no choice but to let her come with me

Had hoped to start part two but needto get back to work… the saga will continue…

I actually can’t believe how shitty my family makes me feel…. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not like I’m an angry 15 year old or anything, I am a fully mature adult simply looking for an outlet.

To begin with a little background information; which btw will be a feat in itself explaining if anyone can actually comprehend the situation.. *deep breath* – I’ll make it as short as I can without leavign the important rantings out ok?

My partner & I live together in a lovely house with my Mum in the spare room. Up until a few months ago my entire family lived together, but hadn’t always it was just nice for the first time in years that we were all actually together… then one day out of the blue my dad decides he is moving out to go and live with his friend down the road.. weird right? then he starts moaning to me & my brother (and anyone else who will listen for that matter) about how much he HATES my mum – they are still married – and how much he cant be bothered with her “negativity” and blah, blah woe is me sort of stuff…. I guess just trying to justify his actions to himself but in the process thinks he also needs to let everyone else know too… life goes on….
then my brother decides he doesnt like living with us in a “homey” environment because its “too boring” which translates to (in 17 year old language) “I don’t want to live here because I am not allowed to smoke drugs in the house off the stove like I want to and I’m not allowed to play my music at the highest possible level continuously everyday with the same “Death rap” songs on repeat and I don’t do dishes because why should the house be clean? I don’t care if there are maggot infested dirty rubbish bags all through my room and my mattress is infested with fleas because I don’t want to clean anything and I don’t like people nagging me to get a job because I would rather stay at home at just get wasted everyday because living like this makes me happy” amongst a whole lot of angry other teenage type issues- (*second deep breath*) so off he goes to live with my aunty & uncle & their kids because they let him do all those things whenever and whereever he likes. Then we get given 3 weeks notice to move out of where we were living because the owners daughter is 8 months pregnant and has just realised that she will not be able to afford to pay rent for her own dewlling while she is at home not working for 6 months or so after her stupid baby is born – fyi: the house we were living in was owned by my mums cousin so the stupid pregnant person is also my cousin – and has known this for 8 months (obviously) BUT because her mother has just gotten married to a man that is only 5 years older than she is, she has ostracised her mum 7 her new husband from her family in an attempt to get her to not marry this young man, and now realises that “fuck! i need somewhere to live and my mum has a house” so she magically saw the error in her ways and now is playing happy families until she doesn’t need the house anymore then she will go back to how she was before – a cold, distant excuse of a daughter who wouldnt even go to her mothers wedding, wont let her mothers new husband into her house, wont let her mother see her kids if “he” is around and doesnt even ring or pop in or send birthday, xmas etc.. gifts, cards or wishes! (*third deep breath*) – so facing the very real prospesct of being homeless in 21 days I set off to the bank for a loan, then start looking for houses – desperately applying for every house I could get in for… less than 48 horus later: loan= tick, house= tick, moving= tick.
So here I am thinking life in general is looking up for me – but no-o! I was trying to study GDipHTMgmt extra murally through SIT but then they send me an email saying I am late handing in my assignment – which in all honesty was the last thing on my mind – theres no point in running crying to my tutors so I take another deep breath a drop out thanks a lot family of the century

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